Skip to main content

Change and transformation



I recently read somewhere that (the author's point of view was) change and transformation differ thus:

Change relies upon a comparison with the past to define itself.  Transformation, by definition, is forward looking.  Or, at the very least, present-centered.  In the context of what I was reading, you'll guess, the comment was relating to "the self."

So, I'm still letting this percolate because I like it.  I think the statements are obvious, but I hadn't looked at it framed this way before.  I mean, self change; self-awareness; are such vast subjects, one could choose a different component of that broad topic every month for a lifetime.

I'm not digging deeply into change and transformation at the moment.  I'm pretty happy with where I am.  Still, I've got "stuff" I always work on, and new stuff happens to me--happens to all of us-- every day.  Even framing it as "happens to me" is a separate topic because it throws one into victim-mentality.  Never, never, ever a good place to dwell.   I consciously change my statement as I catch myself using phrases such as "happens to me."

I suppose I look at these principles, change and transformation, because I don't view my life as being in a place where I've "done all I'm gonna do."  So, if there are new surprises on the horizon for me; for my life; then it's not necessarily a bad idea to consider change vs. transformation.  I may encounter both, still, on my life's journey.  In fact, I really hope I do.

Thinking about it, my 88 year-old father is still undertaking new activities and, not transforming, but not staying in one place, and in some ways, I would definitely say, making changes.  I could focus on his physical self and say there are forced changes there, but, I am really thinking of his marvelous art work and a media he invented himself.

Change in my own life?  We are changing our home.  My husband and I are people who some would say are in a state of constant change, in certain ways; most notably, homes.  Not intentionally, and not, really.  We just know how to effect change in that way, and so we do, when it seems needed.  There are places I wish we would or could change, and yet, we feel stuck.  That was in fact one reason I was reading the aforementioned literature in the first place.  In terms of change, I would say I am the harbinger, always.  He would stay frozen in place if I, and the world, would allow him.

Transformation?  I have lived my life in the idea of transformation, I think.  I've made over my life and my livelihood multiple times, and I feel I know what transformation looks like on myself.  Not everyone can see transformation.  It may be a private thing, as well as an outward thing.  We do not always wish to share transformations.

I suppose I'm effecting a sort of a change by staying committed to writing something (something other than complete gibberish) on this blog, virtually every day.  This is a change for me, and perhaps at the end of the 365th day, I'll discover I've also effected a transformation.  But I doubt it.  I'm pleased with the change.  Writing something relatively meaningful that you're willing to allow complete strangers to see and doing it daily when you've actually never done it before is a good degree of change.



Ok, so, I just convinced myself I stepped into a change commitment without even realizing I'd done so.  Now I understand the queezy feeling I had when I announced to whomever was interested that I was committing to this.  I was basically saying, "You all are going to get to see if I can be accountable to MYSELF, for a year.  And, if I can't you all are gonna get to see me fail, right before your eyes."  YIKES!

I have some dreams.  They are floating up on the roof of my skull, almost out of reach.  But, they are there, and I remember when they arrived.  They have been haunting my waking hours for a few years, and I've even spoken of them to a few friends and people who asked the right things at the right time.  They may begin to gel, and this project may or may not help with that; I am not sure.  But, I am here to tell you, I am a dreamer, and have been my entire life, and every transformation I have wrought in my life has been portended by my dreams.  My waking dreams.

It's my hope that you, too, have such dreams and that they lead you to big things.  It's my hope that you continue to consider change and transformation, in whatever way it may bring new meaning to your life.  If transformation is in your dreams, remember, the keys to that will not be in your past.


Comments

Recent Popular Posts

The Fringe Guys

What would we women do without the guys on the fringes? The men who love us unconditionally even knowing that we will probably never go out with them. The men who see us for who we really are while we are busy chasing the bad boys; the players; the guys who are going to take advantage and then forget about us. But then those men on the fringes... they're the real ones. They aren't poster boys for Chippendales or the firefighter calendar, but they are there for us and we lean on them. The Fringe guys. They prop us up when we are falling apart. They remember our birthdays and the day that our pet passed away. They remember our favorite color and they want to brighten our day almost every day. They love us and when we make excuses for why we won't date them they believe our excuses. They listen to our conscience-easing excuses, and they hope that they can believe the maybe of it. We say maybe and they hear yes when we mean no. And all of that keeps it going round and round, ov...

Asshole in the woodpile

This is not a friendly, emotional, or reflective post. Nope.  This is directed at the ASSHOLE stalking my personal blog while all the while thinking that I am writing for YOU.  Imagine the ego. Since you can no longer leave bile-spewing comments on my blog itself, you are now trying to stalk me from WhatsApp, texting me condescending opinions about my life, which you have no other information about. Get over your infatuation with me, and what I am doing, and how I am enjoying my life.  Go find your own life and happiness, and don't concern yourself with me.  I am happy. And, just to be clear, I have enjoyed a number of men since my marriage ended.  I have fallen in love, and I have never looked back.  It has not been hard to meet men who want me.  I can happily say I am still friends with a number of the men I've recently dated.  They are ALL younger than me, some by quite a bit. Only a NARCISSIST would be concerning themselves with my personal li...

Secret No More

Nobody ever thinks the person they fall in love with is pretending. Nobody thinks that the person that is "their person" is lying. Imagine meeting somebody so deeply invested in lying about their most primal reality that they are unable to see the truth themselves, possibly. Imagine that person pursuing you; cultivating a romantic life with you; asking you to marry them. How could you tell? How would you know when that person that took many years convincing you to fall in love with them was telling a lie? Then imagine spending another 10 years with that person. Imagine investing in a life; in each other's families; and in businesses and dreams. When all of the trappings are set up to be exactly what they're supposed to be, and all of the interactions with family and friends seem to be what anybody would dream of; how would you know? And, as the years pass and the carefully constructed stories and facades stop supporting the weight of the mounting troubles; do you know...

Proof Positive

I might have believed that my entire friend group suffered suddenly from mass hysteria. I really might have. I mean after all, the term that psychologists refer to as "groupthink" is a documented phenomenon that can occur in some groups of people over time and with influence. And equally documented are the instances when groupthink has accounted for irrational and even devastating and murderous consequences in groups. But what if what happened wasn't exactly groupthink? What if it was a case of mean girls and weak followers? Well, just as there is a sociological and psychological thread of studies for the groupthink paradigm there is also a well-studied and defined understanding in the psychological profession for the "mean girl" phenomenon. And here is what is said by professionals regarding the "mean girl" phenomenon. "The "mean girl" phenomenon, characterized by relational aggression and bullying behaviors, can manifest in adult frien...