Illiterations: Laughing At My Own Expense

  Would you prefer to die from pneumonia and drowning in your own blood pulling in your lungs? Or from a stroke or heart attack? These are the conversations that we are trying to have, albeit with more finesse than I offer above. The parent that you have relied on and laughed with and been cared for all your life; whom you've cared for in more recent years and kissed on their foreheads as they aged and became less capable.. How do you make such a choice for them? This is the conversation that we're having. It's not maybe this or maybe that. It's which thing do you feel less. Which thing are you willing to face. My parents have both been such happy, humorous people all of their lives that I struggle to navigate this seriousness. Navigate it on their behalf. It is heartbreaking and the choice will be irreversible most likely. Happily, my parent is involved in the discussion. They have a vote. I absolutely recognize it could be so much worse. I could be having to do this a...

I recognize that my posts have become fewer and shorter.  If you've read recent posts, you know of the ugly experience I went through in a love relationship some recent time ago.  That definitely stole my mojo.  One of the reasons for my relocation was the discovery of the deep and ugly betrayal by the man I was in love with.  I discovered he is a sexual predator and a sex addict.  The need to get far away was simply that strong. Ironically, I do have some business connections and work I do where I used to live.  So, I travel up to Placer County almost weekly to take care of my clients.  I'm building clientele in my new Almaden location too, so that's cool.  It's all pretty "under the radar." I jokingly say I'm "bi-coastal."  I've never tried to run my old businesses long distance, so that's interesting.  But I don't mind.  I'm super glad I have friends to stay with most of the time, and a couple of places to park and camp in a pi...

NOTE:  The following entry is a compilation of information gathered from different sources.  The people who are making headlines for their exploitation of women likely have had no shortage of opportunities for consensual sex. Sexual predators have plenty of sexual experience, but it is shallow. Sex is a control operation for them. They ordain the time and place of the encounter. Seeking a conquest is the overriding aspect. The perpetrator cares little what his “partner” experiences. The idea is to conquer a body, not have a relationship. Achieving his objective provides him with a buildup. He has sex on his mind a great deal of the time, looking at females as potential targets. In his approach to potential sexual targets, the individual regards himself as irresistible and seeks to have this affirmed. He is certain that any person whom he finds desirable will be attracted to him. A friendly smile may confirm that he is desired, and that he can proceed with his conquest. This ...

June, 2025:  Out of respect for my concerned guy (fear of gossip on his part?), I have spent the months we've been seeing each other not mentioning his name and keeping his identity a secret.  I'm kinda over that, though.  Not that I want to paste his picture and name everywhere, but I am going to stop walking on egg shells. I've alluded to his notoriety already, and that's not inaccurate, at least in this part of the world.  And, "notoriety" is not really the right word, because it hints at something nefarious, which is the opposite of the truth. But, he seems to fear that the world will end if the world finds out we are "an item."  He's uber-private, but I think the reason is because he doesn't want his "groupies" to know that he's involved with somebody.  Why?  I don't know.  But it's becoming increasingly more challenging to hide, and it also is coming at a cost to me, and that  reason is the one that has led me to d...

Missed my old fiends this last month, SO MUCH!  It was great seeing them for a visit for a few days and getting to stay with Daisy.  Had a lovely hike with a few of my peeps around Folsom Lake, and a fun evening at Kimmie's house in Foresthill.  Looking forward to breakfast tomorrow morning with the last three gals I keep missing, and then back home to the bay.  Until next time, Placer County!

It's funny how much a place can feel so much the same as it was when I was a kid and also feel so different.  I enjoyed an evening at Zotts last night.  Yes, the old Rosotti's Tavern in Portola Valley.  It's changed hands, and had a bit of a facelift, but, under it all, it is still the same cool, divey place it was in my childhood.   Back then, the Hells Angels and other motorcycle clubs made it a regular stop.  Then, as I grew up, the motorcycles were replaced with bicyclists making it their  stop, along with many of us horse folks who enjoyed the trails in and around the location.  In fact, the influence of it may really be the reason I feel most at home in the same type of venue nowadays, too.  No pretense, no formality.  Just old history and local people. Rosotti's has operated under many names in its life.  I still call it Rosotti's because that's what it was when I first knew it, as a small child.  We lived near enough to...

There is really nothing better than a fresh start; a clean slate.  Living in a new city--or, rather--a place that I've been gone from for a long time--is such a fun renewal of old memories and new experiences with changed things. One thing I really love is the bay itself.  My younger years were marked with many adventures on and around the San Francisco bay.  Re-acquainting myself with the region is spectacular.   I was able to pull out my collection of stunt kites the other day and take them to Berkeley for a fly.  They were totally out of tune after all the years packed away, but the bridles were mostly in place and I just needed to get the rust off my flying skills!  Fun afternoon with my neighbor who had the afternoon free and went along to get the fresh air.  Can you say, "new friends"? And, since I am just over the hill from Santa Cruz, I can buzz over there for a sunset every few evenings, which I love.  J just retired, and B is not f...

My current view -- The Almaden Valley I've always dreamed of just selling everything and moving somewhere new.  I have ties to France, Italy, Mexico, and even Greece.  I think there is a strong possibility that I will eventually jump ship and head there. In the meantime, I am so happy to say, I am establishing myself in the Bay Area.  I love the Santa Cruz mountains and the long views of the San Francisco bay.  My new lil ADU rental here is so perfect in so many ways, and I have somebody who is handling the business I left behind.  I'm considering moving onto a houseboat if I can find one that fits my needs.  I have enjoyed houseboat life in the past, and it will be an easy adjustment once I find the place. My many local friends here really are a boon as well; my network of people has expanded even more in the past year, and I am so grateful for that.  Of course, I'll drop back by the old stomping grounds now and then.  I can't leave my friends to...

Note: This post was put up at the same time as the one entitled, "Confidential."  They are two interesting  experiences both on the topic of friendship and trust and connection. Girlfriends Happy Hour The Girlfriends Happy Hour seems to have taken hold for real. My desire for connection set my feet on this path a year ago. Thanks to a suggestion from my sister that I model a group after one she and her best friend inadvertently created themselves, I seized her idea and ran with it. Our group has been going strong since May and it's now mid-November.  We've enjoyed other gatherings and events outside the happy hour which demonstrates our expansiveness and our cohesiveness. Out of it all I have been blessed with many wonderful new friends and several who have become particularly close and special. It still seems that people generally look to me to rally the troops and remind people of events and post events and even plan and schedule events, but I am definitely working ...

  Note: This post was put up at the same time as the one entitled, "Girlfriends Happy Hour."  They are two interesting experiences both on the topic of friendship and trust and connection. Confidential I'm still getting lessons in how to rate relationships. I'm still trusting a relationship to be more of a friendship than it sometimes is. And that's okay. I recognize it as an opportunity for growth and to not only learn from the experience but to learn about myself. It's good to keep discovering things about oneself at every age, I think. Sometimes though what I do is I give a friend or a group of friends a little bit of power in my life by sharing a confidence that I don't share with just everybody. And I did that recently. Not so much as a gesture of friendship but out of a need to unburden a truth that was holding me back in a group of women. I knew that it could be received in so many different ways and I asked their permission before I shared, request...

Tender people make great targets.  They seem safe and easy to injure.  Often, the assailant has seen others targeting them, and they feel emboldened by the past "evidence" that the target deserves the attacks. The fact is though, that there are people in this world who just have a huge dose of empathy and humanity which keeps them from wanting to injure another, even in the face of unreasonable or even atrocious attacks.  And being tender and kind and empathetic does not preclude a person from also being smart, strong, and well-versed in defending oneself from onslaughts of narcissism and tyranny. Over the years of my life, those tyrannous and abusive people have found that a tender person such as myself doesn't necessarily lack the chops to defend herself.  I am never one to talk about the times I win the fight.  I do not gloat.  I understand that winning "the fight" means I had to fight, and I am never proud of that.  I am never willing to advertise ...