I'm probably dating myself, but do you remember Superman before all the superheroes, and Superman's alter-ego Clark Kent?
Clark had a love interest. It was Lois Lane. And he never fully told her everything he was doing. He always kept his secret even from her. She loved him and somewhere deep down he loved her. But he was afraid to reveal his deepest self and his truest truths to her.
His secret was that he was Superman, and he was vulnerable in certain ways. He feared sharing his truth would also reveal his vulnerabilities and even though he loved her he still kept some distance by way of not disclosing who his alter-ego was.
Sometimes I feel a little bit like Lois Lane. I know who his version of his Super-self is. He is not required to hide his true superhero alter-ego from the world. So, fortunately I suppose, his alter-ego and he are one and the same.
Also, sweetly, I know his vulnerabilities. Perhaps not all of them. But I know many, and I know where his pain lies.
But unlike his freedom to be his public alter-ego, I am still playing Lois Lane to his Superman. Mostly in terms of changed plans and nights we thought we were going to spend together becoming instead nights he goes out and saves a life.
Do I miss him on those nights? So totally.
Am I proud of him? So totally.
For him, every life saved is a bit of salve on some old wounds. They will never heal and so he will never stop.
On the nights when I'm Lois and he's Superman, I sometimes wish we were just nobody in particular. Yet, he will always be Superman, and I will always need to be okay with being Lois.And one of these days the demands on Superman will ease up and Lois will have a lot more time with Clark. That's the day that I see not that far off in the future and look forward to with a great deal of enthusiasm.
I think one of the reasons that Lois couldn't stop focusing on Clark is that she recognized that he was something special. He was one of a kind. I get that.
And I think, for example, of Steve Irwin and Terri Irwin and the way that she was also Lois to his Clark. Even to this day and long after Steve has gone, she has never found another person that could take his place.
And why would she? She had Superman.
Lois had Superman.
I have Superman.
Once you've known Superman, there's really nobody else.
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