Illiterations: Laughing At My Own Expense

In one light, he’s a man; a solid citizen and server of his community; In the next glance he’s a comic; a clown; a joker and I laugh and hope he can be serious when he must. Some days, he’s my knight; armor shining and steed steady and stout, Though I know it’s not what I want–to be ‘rescued’... Every day that I see him, I know he’s my lover; that amazing, perceptive, gentle, man–all MAN, And each and every day that I know him; I discover another part I’d not known of him. Rather than ask why I never found him in the past; I look at the future as a newly changed landscape. Rather than look for my flaws that I might point them out to him; I bask in the appreciation with which he showers me, For he is one of the last true gentlemen; And I am the benefactor of such pleasant graces. I am the benefactor of this love. February 1, 2006 N. Holmes

I dunno. Last year, I was neck deep in the momentous law suit with Craig. I was bearing the burden of coming up with all the receipts and all the proff of money down the drain, and so I really hadn't thought--for real--about life once that was all behind me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd fantasized , but the fantasies were so far away, and unrealized, that I couldn't use them as any more than a weak visualization tool. But, as the final two months of 2005 wore on, I began doing the projects I'd promised myself I'd do "when things were past," and I began giving myself permission to spend money again, and have a lifestyle again, even if a modest one. It's not that I had good luck in court. I didn't. I bet on a bad horse, lawyer-wise, and it was a painful effort, and a lesson in the machismo and old-boy-ism of the court system. But still, I found a place I love, and I have my dog, Joy, and so, I set sail from there. The Sunday before Thanksgiving, m

Ok, this is NOT a flattering picture of me, but it's such a sweet one of Joy. I was sitting on the floor, and she jumped on the bed so she could get an easy shot at kissing me.

This more recent photo of me with Joy is from the office Christmas photo this past Christmas (2004). We had three dogs total in the picture. I cropped everybody else out so I could get a close up, but this picture was awesome! We were all caroling in front of the court house in Auburn.

Mary S. (aka "Army Sonoma") asked me to post some pictures of Joy. I don't think she's seen her since Joy was a puppy. Mary--along with Julie M.-- was my college roommate. Joy was the little puppy I adopted my last year at UC Davis. In this photo, Joy is just completely unwilling to let me get far enough away to get a picture of her that is in the correct perspective. I snapped this in 2003, at the ranch.

A photo with the Bidwell; a special type of paver which pours concrete bridge decks. I inspected all that green steel. Note my four or five layers of sweatshirts. This was in Truckee, in August and September. We'd start at 6 a.m, and it would be about 40 degrees and windy, and by noon, it would be up to 85 or 90 and still, then it would drop back to a cool 70 by 5 p.m. when we were done .

We have our own raft here at our place (the whole gang of us--the Wild Bunch) and we went down the river recently. That's me getting launched into the rapids unexpectedly.

On the job as a bridge construction engineer. I hadn't realized this photo was snapped. I am still not sure if I snapped it unaware, or if somebody else snuck it in. It's not so "flattering" but it's sort of interesting.

(the title line above is a link that will open a window to my Father's book site on Amazon) My Dad! My Dad! I want to tell the world about my amazing father! The link given here is a long one, yes, but bear with me. My father, Alan Holmes , is a published author. His writing is wonderful, colorful, and heart-felt in a way that is seldom seen. His memoirs of growing up in the northern provinces of France--just as World War II is approaching on quiet feet-- are whimsical, and amazingly rich with detail. If historical novels are of any interest to you, his book "In the Moon" [subtitled "Dans La Lune" ] will touch your heart and leave you hoping for the speedy delivery of my father's further memoirs. He promises to keep working. Alan's book is published through Xlibris Books, and can be found on Amazon and other book sites.

Ok, I'm starting off with light, silly stuff. Or, I did. My first post on this blog was a poem I wrote in 1989, when I'd just met the man who would become my husband. Hah! I've not seen him since 1992, and I had not looked at that poem in years, either, but I do like the poem. Life changed for me recently, for the better. I closed the book on a long, drawn-out struggle with "the ex" as I refer to him, which makes people think we were married, though we never were. We were together for nearly eight years, however. Parting was not a sweet sorrow. It was, in fact, neither sweet, nor a sorrow. I left behind a lot of relationships with both people and animals I loved. Not because I wanted to, but because those were the limitations set forth. All in a day, things were.. over . Believe me, I'd like to rant and rave here about the victimizations he perpetrated. But, I am not going to slouch into that same state in which he exists. I won't. I will say