Illiterations: Laughing At My Own Expense

2003, with Okie; the hay barn at my ranch Not everybody knows this about me. Because--well it's kind of funny really, it seems like nearly everybody who knows me right now didn't know me 10 years ago.  But, 15 years ago I was a strong, mid '40s, kick ass, athlete. I was working out four days a week. I had six horses who I regularly rode. I managed everything about those horses; I arranged 40 tons of hay to be delivered one to two times per year for those horses and had a hay barn built for those 40 tons that I personally tarped, and protected from the weather, and, as I needed them dropped those 140 lb bales of hay off a stack 14 feet tall to feed my horses. Almost on a daily basis. Nowadays people don't see me doing that. The people who know me think--I think--that I am a little bit older; a little bit overweight. But you all didn't know me :-) Y'all don't know who I was and I'm still that person :-) And here's the thing. I mean a lot of people have

There's a man that I know who would lay down his life to turn back the hands of time. He would pay any fortune that he had to go back to 1997 when he met me. But he is not my man. I let him go. We were not the right fit. I'm not entirely sure that another man has ever loved me more than that man. And even now in 2022, that man loves me more than the man I'm married to. That man cherishes me more and sees me more and defends me more than my own husband has ever done. I have been the best wife I knew how to be. In my world that doesn't mean being subservient; it doesn't mean being a sex slave; it doesn't mean being imprisoned in a home just doing housework. When I met my husband I was running my own business as a real estate agent. He was very supportive. He loved me and he promoted me to everybody he knew as the best real estate agent anybody could hire. You know in fact he wasn't wrong--of course that's irrelevant here, but still accurate. A photo Jeff s

One of the labors of love I am most proud of, but which is mostly unknown to people who know me, is the incredible ranch and equestrian facility that was created upon a patch of ground that had once before been the home of "the largest llama herd in the U.S." The place of which I speak is none other than 11330 Mount Vernon Road, in Auburn, CA.  It had several other addresses associated with the property since it had been multiple parcels and over 50 acres at the time of the llama ranch. It had been the family property of my then fiancé, Craig.  His father was a fanatical animal collector, and his animal of choice was llamas.  In high school, Craig had been an intern and worked for our neighbors, Carole and Greg, who owned an adjacent ranch and quietly had been managing a performing and retirement ranch for chimpanzees.   Craig's brother, Hayden, became interested in training and performing with large animals, and later was able to break into that business, starting his ow