Illiterations: Laughing At My Own Expense

In one light, he’s a man; a solid citizen and server of his community; In the next glance he’s a comic; a clown; a joker and I laugh and hope he can be serious when he must. Some days, he’s my knight; armor shining and steed steady and stout, Though I know it’s not what I want–to be ‘rescued’... Every day that I see him, I know he’s my lover; that amazing, perceptive, gentle, man–all MAN, And each and every day that I know him; I discover another part I’d not known of him. Rather than ask why I never found him in the past; I look at the future as a newly changed landscape. Rather than look for my flaws that I might point them out to him; I bask in the appreciation with which he showers me, For he is one of the last true gentlemen; And I am the benefactor of such pleasant graces. I am the benefactor of this love. February 1, 2006 N. Holmes

I dunno. Last year, I was neck deep in the momentous law suit with Craig. I was bearing the burden of coming up with all the receipts and all the proff of money down the drain, and so I really hadn't thought--for real--about life once that was all behind me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd fantasized , but the fantasies were so far away, and unrealized, that I couldn't use them as any more than a weak visualization tool. But, as the final two months of 2005 wore on, I began doing the projects I'd promised myself I'd do "when things were past," and I began giving myself permission to spend money again, and have a lifestyle again, even if a modest one. It's not that I had good luck in court. I didn't. I bet on a bad horse, lawyer-wise, and it was a painful effort, and a lesson in the machismo and old-boy-ism of the court system. But still, I found a place I love, and I have my dog, Joy, and so, I set sail from there. The Sunday before Thanksgiving, m