Seems like a simple, clear, and easy-to-follow directive, right?
Here in this group of forty or so enthusiastic people whose lives and loves revolve around dogs, there is a hum of excitement, and, like the canines we love, everybody is sniffing noses and making friends all around.
As I check into the hotel this afternoon, just after 1 pm, a woman walks around the corner and sees that I have Sunny and Sonja with me. She asks if I am with the Cesar Millan group. I answer that I am. "So am I," she adds, and instantly we are introducing ourselves, she is meeting the dogs, and they are getting a bit over-excited. So much for no touch and no talk. It isn't her fault, we're both happy enough to meet that we--that I--relax the requirements I normally have for my dogs on meeting a new person.
Robin, as I now know her, had just flown in from Colorado. We have several hours to wait for our first meeting of the Fundamentals class to begin, and we cross paths in the hotel several times, each time enthusiastically gathering and sharing bits of info to get to know each other. She and her husband are preparing to launch into a large endeavor of opening a Dogtopia franchise, and they are doing all that they can to educate themselves on behavioral philosophies and other things.
At 5 in the evening, I stroll down to the meeting room where the event was supposed to kick off, and find one other person waiting outside. I ask if she is waiting for the Cesar group and she is, and we chat. She is Hillary. She lives in Boston. I like Hillary immediately. She is simply open and transparent-seeming in a way that appeals to me. We talk about our aspirations and why we were drawn here, and about ten minutes later, a hotel employee tells us the time was supposed to be 6 pm, and we have some time to kill, so we stroll back to the bar, where complimentary happy hour is about to start.
At the bar, all but one person is there waiting for the Fundamentals class to kick off, and we all introduce ourselves. I love this group already! William, to my right, has arrived from the Netherlands. He and his girlfriend operate a dog-walking and day care business, and they also serve as foster-care providers for dogs rescued from Spain. His girlfriend attended Cesar's class some years ago, and William is now getting the Fundamentals under his belt.
As we all enjoy connecting and hearing about each others "big why" -- our motivation for coming here-- Robin shares with us how somebody in her circle responded with unsolicited criticism when she shared that she was coming here. Several others comment that they also experienced that, too. I am among those people.
None of us can understand the motivation of the various people who offered unsolicited--and often rather harsh--criticism of the person we here in this knot of people consider an inspiration, at least, and, for some of us, a sort of a personal hero. Uniformly, we asserted that the criticism did not sway us from what we feel we know, or believe, nor did it cause us not to attend this session. And, none of us can ascertain that the people who offered harsh words of judgment actually had any legitimate, first hand knowledge of Cesar Millan, and who he is now, and how he trains and practices.
For me, the two people who made the harshest comments are in the animal business themselves. One operates a local dog rescue near my home, and the comment was in response to my sharing where I'd be this week which caused me to be unable to help them build a much-needed shelter for additional rescue dogs. They were in the process of asking for my help, and they literally offered unsolicited comments about Cesar's methods (not sure they *know* what his methods are) and then they sent me a link of a critical video of a training video with Cesar in it that was "mocked up" by some anonymous person with stop-action commentary on all the tings Cesar is doing "wrong" in the video. I could literally hear where the sound affects had been added.
The other person who really went out of his way to point out that he doesn't believe in Cesar's principles is a family member who is in the business of training and handling exotic animals for the entertainment industry. I know his life has been punctuated by periods of having to fight uphill battles, defending himself against animal rights groups who have lodged accusations and claimed he has done things that he himself knows he has not. While he is not at the celebrity status of Cesar Millan, this person is still a personality who's been in the limelight and owns a certain status as a celebrity in many circles. He is somebody who has, no doubt, had to fight his way through forests of nay-sayers and has, most certainly, realized certain costs in his own personal life because of the pain and challenge of being in the spotlight. And, I thought, "here he is, doing the same thing to a fellow practitioner."
I thought about all of this as I listened to several others' stories about the comments they had received from friends, family, or other connections. I didn't share in depth, but thought to myself that it was an odd type of competitiveness that some people have in themselves that overrode their ability to just recognize that my enthusiasm for Cesar Millan was never an opportunity that they lost out on. While he inspires me, they have yet to show my why they could, or why they might. And, they seem a little bitter for it.
William, my new friend, offered this, and it felt perfect. He said, "in the Netherlands, we have a saying; I hope it translates to English." He continued, "Tall trees catch more winds."
With that, I simply closed my mouth. It was all that I had felt about all of the comments, perfectly summed. Nothing more needed to be said. That is precisely what it is about.
Our evening--all of us, I feel certain--was as wonderful an opening as any event's could be. We had dinner in groups of eight, each table with a trainer that will be our group trainer through the week's training, and of course, with Cesar leading the pack. First rule for the group, which includes ten dogs attending with their owners, "No touch, no talk, no eye contact." In other words, keep everybody safe. Follow the rules of a savvy pack. Ultimately, there will be nearly as many dogs as there are people. For me, I think, "that's the Auburn dog park on any good summer evening." The difference, however, is that here, the people handling the dogs will be evolving skills of safe and calm dog interaction. I simply can not wait.
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